Struggle and Strife
by DaughteroftheOneTrueKing
Summary: Sirius has to decide what to do when he finds out his best friend and wife have been murdered.


**Theme: Sirius is arrested after the Potter's death**

**Prompt: (creature) Dementor**

Sirius was running. That's all he could think to do the second he Disapparated at the edge of Godric's Hollow. He couldn't think about what he might find when he reached his destination, it was too awful.

Word had reached him that his best friend's hidden location had been given away, but he couldn't believe it. Wormtail wouldn't give them away. That was the exact reason that he had refused to be the Secret Keeper, he would be the one person everyone would think would know where James, Lily, and Harry were in hiding. If he were captured, he would never be able to divulge the location even if under torture.

He couldn't Apparate straight to the Potter's small cottage, so that's why he was running. The edge of the Apparition point was at least a mile from the actual house. And yet, he knew the truth before he reached the house. Smoke curled into the night sky, blocking out the stars and the bright half-moon. He poured on speed (only now did he think to be grateful Remus had insisted on dragging him along to the gym twice a week) and arrived to see the sight he had been dreading.

At the sight of the house, he felt as if a Dementor were nearby, as if he never would be cheerful or happy again. The house's top floor was completely destroyed, the area he knew to be Harry's room now a gaping crater. Within, he could see a hulking shape Sirius quickly recognized.

"Hagrid!" Sirius called to the enormous man. Rubeus Hagrid turned, and Sirius saw that he had a small bundle cradled in his arms. _Harry. _Was the boy alive? How was that possible given the destruction that he saw.

Hagrid disappeared behind a still-intact wall and exited the house a few moments later. Sirius approached, meeting him near the garage, which was only there to house his old flying motorbike, which he rarely got to use anymore because it was so conspicuous.

"'Lo Sirius," Hagrid said thickly. Sirius could tell that he had been crying. "Horrible situation, innit? At least 'arry's okay."

"James and Lily?" Sirius' voice was barely audible. He was afraid of the answer Hagrid would give.

"D-dead." Hagrid stuttered the words. "You-Know-Oo came after 'em. Managed to find 'em somehow, killed Lily an' James, then Harry, 'cording to Dumbledore. Broke 'im, he's lost all his power. Dunno how this little tyke survived, it's a miracle."

Sirius held his hands out for the bundle. "Hagrid, let me take him. I'm his godfather, James asked me to take care of him if anything ever happened to him and Lily."

Hagrid shook his head. "Can' do it Sirius. I bin told to bring him to his aunt and uncle over in Surrey. They're Muggles, Dumbledore thinks he'll be safer there 'til 'es old enough to start Hogwarts."

"But Harry's totally safe, isn't he? I mean, Voldemort is gone? No more having to hide?" Sirius had the feeling he wasn't going to like what Hagrid had to say about that.

"Dumbledore says 'es only hidin' out til he can get 'is strength back," Hagrid explained. "Dunno when or even if that'll happen, but Dumbledore isn't gonna take chances. 'Es expectin me in about an hour at his aunt and uncle's."

Sirius knew that there was no arguing with Dumbledore. As much as he wanted to protest, Harry would be going to live with Lily's sister. Sirius had met Petunia once, at Lily's baby shower just before Harry had been born. She had struck him as not particularly pleasant, an impression which had been confirmed by the end of the evening (a long story, involving the cake and a gifted baby stroller).

Sirius could have kept arguing of course. He could have marched straight over to Hogwarts and demanded that Dumbledore let him take care of Harry. But Sirius realized that he couldn't do that. Dumbledore didn't know that it was Peter who was the Secret Keeper, not Sirius. Everyone that knew James would assume it. And so it would be he who was the main suspect in the betrayal of the Potters. The thought made his stomach twist, he would never do such a thing and he hated thinking that anyone would believe him capable of such a thing. For the millionth time, he cursed his Black ancestry, which would also point to him being complicit in the divulgence of their location. Again, the feeling of a nearby Dementor closed over Sirius, but this time he shoved it away.

He knew he would have to allow Harry to be raised by the Dursleys. Sirius had unfinished business to attend to, and it would probably get him thrown into Azkaban. Even if it failed, he would likely be caught and sentenced for betraying James and Lily. But he had to try… he had to try and catch the true culprit.

"Take my bike," Sirius offered, pushing a button on the side of the small garage. It opened, revealing the motorbike that he and James had spent the last half of seventh year repairing and enchanting to fly. "I won't need it anymore."

Hagrid looked at the bike, admiring it. It really was a nice bike. "Thanks, Sirius." He eyed Sirius uncertainly for a moment, but seemed to shrug off whatever thought had started to bother him. "I'm sure yeh can try and do things behind the scenes for 'im."

Sirius didn't respond. He knew that wouldn't be possible, and didn't even want to entertain the thought. It would be too painful to imagine in the coming days and years, however long he ended up imprisoned for.

He showed Hagrid how to operate the bike quickly, and the engine revved, breaking the tranquil night with the jarring sound. As Hagrid flew off on the bike to take Harry to his new life, Sirius felt a pang of doubt in his resolve to catch Peter. He could go into hiding as Padfoot, mill around villages as a stray until a chance to clear himself came along. He could let himself be captured and let his memories show the truth. But the Aurors wouldn't believe them, they'd either say he was being clever in hiding the "true memories" or else that he had tampered with his own memories. He would not get a fair trial, he knew that for certain.

He had to try and eliminate the coward who had betrayed their friends and left their child an orphan with an uncertain future. That would be the only way he could live with himself. It was his idea to be the decoy. He should have known that Peter was a sniveling rat who would do anything to buy himself some safety. He would never have done what Wormtail had done, he would have been tortured and killed rather than give them up.

_Stop _he told himself. _You don't have time for those thoughts. Just find Peter. _If he was going to Azkaban, he was making damn sure that coward went with him.


End file.
